What You Magnify, Multiplies: Finding Joy in the Messy Moments of Motherhood

There was a time I used to dream of going back to work… while changing explosive diapers.

I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that, but it’s the truth.

I had just had my first baby, and everything about early motherhood felt so big.The spit-up felt endless (my son projectile spit up a lot), the diapers were always full of surprises, and the quiet moments I thought would be cozy and bonding were often just… lonely.

It wasn’t gross.

It was just overwhelming.

It felt heavy in my chest.

It felt like I was suffocating under a role I should be loving… but couldn’t quite embrace.

I’d think:

• “I wasn’t made for this.”

• “I thought I’d feel more fulfilled.”

• “Maybe the grass really is greener somewhere else…”

But then, I had my second—and then my third—and slowly, something began to shift.

The Chaos Didn’t Change… But My Focus Did

I realized that the mess didn’t magically go away.The toddler tantrums still happened.The laundry still piled up.The bananas were still half-eaten and squished into the rug.

But how I saw it all started to change.

✨ I stopped magnifying the overwhelm.

✨ I started looking for the beauty.

✨ I began noticing the tiny moments that were full of joy—even if they were tucked inside the chaos.

Instead of seeing my house as a wreck, I started seeing it as lived-in.

Instead of focusing on how tired I was, I started remembering why I was tired.

Instead of zoning out, I started zooming in.

What You Magnify, Multiplies

There’s a principle that’s changed everything for me as a mom:

What you focus on grows.

If I focus on the mess, I see more mess.

If I focus on the noise, the whining, the tantrums… it all gets louder.

But if I focus on what’s good, what’s growing, what’s beautiful? That multiplies too.

I started narrating the good I saw in my kids:

• “You are so kind. That was such a thoughtful thing to do.”

• “Thank you for helping me right away. You're becoming so responsible.”

• “Wow, you shared your toy! You are so generous.”

And you know what happened?

I started seeing more of that behavior.

I started seeing more smiles.

And I started hearing my kids say those same things… back to me.

Faith + Gratitude in the Smallest Moments

I’ve come to believe that this is exactly what God calls us to do:

To magnify the good.

To fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen—what’s eternal.

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right… think on these things.”— Philippians 4:8

And I don’t just do this for my kids—I do it for myself.

• I give myself “thank you” stickers for how I handled something calmly.

• I journal about what went right that day.

• I start mornings with one thing I’m excited about—even if it’s as small as a hot coffee.

A Journaling Prompt to Help You Shift Your Focus

Here’s a simple prompt that’s helping me stay grounded in joy:

✍️ “What is one hard or messy moment from today that I can reframe with gratitude?”

Write about it.

Process it.

Focus on how YOU want to show up as if you are showing up that way (I am calm rather than I want to stay calm).

Ask God to show you the good in it.

You’ll be amazed at how your perspective shifts.

Final Thoughts: The Messy Moments Are the Moments

Motherhood isn’t meant to be perfect.

It’s meant to form us.

It’s not about getting it right every time—it’s about being present, showing up, and trusting that these ordinary moments are doing extraordinary work in us and our kids.

So if you’re in the thick of it…

If your toddler is melting down over toast that was cut the wrong way…If your baby is crying and your coffee is cold again…

Remember: you’re not alone. And it’s not meaningless.

Magnify the good. And watch how joy begins to multiply.